Until You, I Didn’t Feel Quite Finished
the days fade into each other
waking
drifting
dreaming
sleeping
and…
until you, I didn’t feel quite finished
the nights fade into each other
thoughtless
senseless
emotionless
passionless
and….
until you, I didn’t feel quite finished
love haunts
love beckons
love promises
love fades
and…
until you, I didn’t feel quite finished…
until now….
Until you, I didn't feel quite finished
How Can I know If You Believe In Me (a short reprise)
on a sea of glass
a reflection of what you believe
is it me
or my imagination
that is dreaming
believing in
the beautiful times gone by
and forgotten moments
now and forever
— for us
Now and forever believe in me
Weekly Movie-Making Moments in Film – Raise the Red Lantern
Raise the Red Lantern…the new wave in Chinese cinema
The beautiful Gong Li in Zhang Yimou's Raise the Red Lantern
http://youtu.be/EyubPCx52uk – Starring Gong Li and directed by Zhang Yimou (trailer)
http://youtu.be/wB5vKVnJQtQ – A Woman’s fate (monologue)
http://youtu.be/WklufWNh300 – Third Mistress Singing
A woman's fate
China, 1991
Running Length: 2:05
Cast: Gong Li, Cao Cuifen, He Caifei, Jin Shuyuan,
Kong Lin, Ma Jingwu, Zhao Qi
Director: Zhang Yimou
Producer: Chiu Fu-sheng
Screenplay: Ni Zhen based on the novel Wives and Concubines by Su
Tong
Cinematography: Yang Lun and Zhao Fei
Music: Naoki Tachikawa and Zhao Jiping
U.S. Distributor: Miramax Films
In Mandarin with English Subtitles
Raise the Red Lantern is one of the more sublimely beautiful and
openly disturbing films of the 1990s. It is also the best work to date turned
in by the actress/director combination of Gong Li and Zhang Yimou — and this
includes other impressive films like Ju Dou and To Live. Raise the Red Lantern is one of those all-too-rare motion
pictures capable of enthralling audience members while they’re watching it,
then haunting them for hours (or days) thereafter. With its simple story and
complex themes and emotions, Raise the Red Lantern hints at the kind of
film a great director like Ingmar Bergman might have made had he attempted a
story set in mainland China.
The difference between
Songlian (Gong Li), the fourth wife of a rich landowner, and the other three
spouses, is that she is educated, and has been married (by her mother) against
her will. Now, her whole world is reduced to one small compound, and the only
people she sees are her husband, his family, and their servants. She is given a
maid (Kong Lin) with whom she doesn’t get along, and finds her new home to be a
cheerless place, despite all the bright colors that adorn the inside walls.
It’s the master’s
tradition to light lanterns outside the house of the wife he intends to join
for the night. Since Songlian is new to the compound, it is expected that he
will spend much of his time with her. However, on their first night together,
the master is called away to soothe his pampered third wife (He Caifei), who
complains of an ailment. From then on, Songlian realizes that she’ll have to
resort to deceit and manipulation to retain her husband’s interest. And, while
she doesn’t necessarily appreciate his attentions, she realizes that her status
in the household is directly proportional to how highly she is favored.
Within days of her
arrival, Songlian’s relationships with her “sisters” are established.
The first wife (Jin Shuyuan), an aging woman with a grown son, does her best to
ignore Songlian’s presence. She is tolerant — no more, no less. The third
concubine, a beautiful ex-opera singer, is fiercely jealous of Songlian,
worried that the master will find his new, educated bride more enticing.
However, the second concubine (Cao Cuifen) offers friendship and kindness to
the newest member of the family — or so it initially seems.
The Chinese government
didn’t approve of Raise the Red Lantern, and, if you look just below the
simple-yet-effective surface story, it’s easy to understand why. As structured,
this film can be seen as a parable for the corruption of modern society in
China. Songlian is the individual, the master is the government, and the
customs of the house are the laws of the country. It’s an archaic system that
rewards those who play within the rules and destroys those who violate them.
And, when an atrocity occurs (as it did in Tiannamen Square), not only is
culpability denied, but the entire incident is claimed not to have happened.
Looking beyond the
political meaning, Raise the Red Lantern offers a view of life within a
closed, dictatorial social community. Much of the film deals with the
ever-shifting balance of power between the various concubines. Beauty and
sexual appeal are secondary attributes in a battle of wits that demands guile
and duplicity. Bearing a male child is more critical to each woman’s standing
than possessing a pleasing countenance. While the master’s favor determines
which of his wives commands the most power, Zhang illustrates how easily he can
be manipulated.
The acting is effective
enough to illuminate the multi-faceted personalities of the concubines. Gong Li
shines as Songlian, who struggles to be as cold and calculating as her
“sisters” in playing the “game” until a tragedy destroys
her composure (and possibly her sanity). Gong’s performance makes it easy to
sympathize with Songlian; she is our guide through the strange,
ritual-saturated world of Raise the Red Lantern.
The film is beautifully
photographed using a process that captures the vividness of the many colors
employed by the director. Raise the Red Lantern is visually stunning,
and the appeal to the eye only heightens the movie’s emotional power. The
fullness of reds, oranges, and yellows is unlike anything that has been seen in
an American film for years. Zhang clearly understands at least one of the
fundamental rules of film making: that a great-looking picture will enhance a
superior story.
Songlian’s ultimate fate
is wrenching, and the closing scene represents a sad epilogue to a unique
motion picture experience. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie quite like Raise
the Red Lantern, and, since I consider it to be a defining example of
Chinese movie-making and one of the best films of the ’90s, I doubt that I ever
will again.
The mistress gets her due
Post note: This is one of the best films I have ever seen. 1991 was a great transitional period for me artistically and this film added to my sense of exploration into the art of creativity and the importance of subject matter.
Gong Li as Songlian
How Can I know If You Believe In Me
if there was a moment
in a dream
and you believed in me
does it change everything
now and forever
…. for us
Believe in me as we dream together
Weekly Movie-Making Moments in Film: Camille Claudel
A woman’s strength and determination is powerful….
A woman’s love is without equal…..
A woman’s suffering for that love is immeasurable….
Perhaps one of my favorite French films that depicts artistic creativity, strength, determination, love and obsession is none other than the film Camille Claudel finely directed by Bruno Nuyten and starring Isabelle Adjani as Camille—the young but gifted sculptress. In the film Camille possesses an artistic and romantic passion that consumes her. Her love for the sculptor, Auguste Rodin, and her life, ends in pain and lost.
Here is a clip from the film. What do you think? If you have seen the film, what is your opinion of Isabelle Adjani’s performance?
Weekly Movie-Making Moments in Film: Chelsea Walls
I thought I would start showing clips from some of my favorite films. Over the years, I have spent a considerable amount of time in theaters, and long nights viewing video tapes, and DVDs. And we cannot forget the ever consuming Netflicks via our computers. It is time to go deep, yes—very deep—and find those rare moments in classic film-making. These beautiful, intrepid, and visceral moments can be found delving into the issues of obsessive love, angst, betrayal, and tragedy (thinking of French, German and Asian films in particular). And what comes to mind when thinking of tragic French films? Well we can find the French catapulting our emotions in such films as: Un Couer En Hiver (A Heart in Winter) directed by Claudet Sautet, Damage with French actress Juliette Binoche and film direction by Louis Malle. And last but not least—my favorite French excursion into obsession is none other than the film Camille Claudel finely directed by Bruno Nuyten and starring Isabelle Adjani as Camille—the young but gifted sculptress full of artistic and romantic passion. Her love for the sculptor, Auguste Rodin—as you can imagine—will only end in pain and lost.
I hope over time to share from around the world some masterful works in cinema. However, to kick off this Weekly Movie-Making Moments in Film, I present what I think defines a good film moment i.e. strong characterization, heart-felt expression by the performer, and feeling as if you can truly relate to the scene or film in general. For this first challenge, I am selecting the “poem” scene in the film Chelsea Walls as recited by Rosario Dawson.
Tell me what you think of this moment in the film, and what you think of this concept in general. Do you have a favorite moment or film that has influence you in some way? Please share.
As We Grow Older Details Become Memories
A mother's smile, a mother's joy
Do you at times find yourself transported back in time when
a certain inherent detail of your life presents itself and reminds you of
something or someone? Do you recognize that moment as a significant junction
between remembrance and the here and now?
A father's necktie, the way he dressed
The other day while driving and listening to some beautiful
introspective music by the New Age composer Cleveland Wehle, I found myself
visualizing small details of my life. The name of his CD is Relax Deeply – The
Music, and the inspiring track that prompted me to compose this post is
entitled Anne’s Pleasure. What I visualized while listening were small
fragments or details that were components of a larger picture. Those images symbolized
in part the relationship I have had with time and memory—my life, my time here
on planet earth, my memories.
A photograph, a loving memory, a mother's wedding
Details become memories….
It seems that as we grow older, our lives manifest a
deeper sense of reflection. It is at times … like the feeling of Déjà vu, when
something ignites our connection to the past. The smallest detail infuses
itself into our mindset. We feel and
remember things hard to describe in words, but intuitively understand their
meaning.
A daughter's beauty throughout the years
One of the objectives of my work as an artist has been to
bridge the past with the present. In
this post, I take small visual details of the past, and present them as memory
fragments. Those fragments reflect my relationship with my mother, father,
daughter, sister and family.
A sister's handwriting, so distinct
There are a host of details from our past, about our lives, just
waiting to present themselves unexpectedly—changing the way we remember. We all share in our own unique way this
experience. Let’s look back and celebrate.
A memory of my family's elegance, so timely
http://youtu.be/IKMDy_elBK8 – Cleveland Wehle – Song for Mary Clare – Video by David Flood
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It
is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a
stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good
as dead: his eyes are closed. … Albert Einstein
What do you think? What small details that surround your
life bring back memories of beautiful times gone by?
Just Felt Like Posting a Work of Art / a tribute to my daughter
My daughter the model and the world behind you
A photograph of my daughter who as a teen did some modeling. This was around the time I was visiting Europe and Barbados. I wanted to post something, hence the title “Just Felt Like Posting a Work of Art”, and the first thing to come to mind was my daughter. Lady, as she was affectionately known, remains in my thoughts. I wake to her, and I fall to sleep with a dream of her. The title of the piece is “The World Behind You”. She certainly had a world full of life, beauty, and wonder in which she embraced with joy.
Rest in Peace my Lovely Daughter….
The Silence of Liberation
Toward the love within….
Silence
Silence 02
It is after 12 a.m. and I have just read a wonderful post by
fellow blogger Elizabeth—the author of the blog Mirth and Motivation on
Wordpress.com. I was so inspired by her thoughts and comments on the recent
tragedies in Norway, China and the death of Amy Winehouse, that I felt compelled
to create a post on her theme i.e. the need for silence, for understanding,
compassion and healing.
Silence 03
Silence 04
I am not going to say much about the events that occurred here
in this post, (the struggles of mankind as a community and we as individuals
speak for themselves) however, I would like to express my feelings, my
compassion, and the love of healing through
silence via my art.
Silence 05
Silence 06
Silence is a powerful tool. When we cultivate our inward
journey through meditation, contemplative thought and positive action, we
harness the energy to change ourselves and the world around us. For me, these
moments tonight of creative insight and sharing, in connection with my art and
the desire to send forth compassionate energy is liberating in of itself. I can feel the hurt that so many in our
communities are experiencing and my desire for their liberation and the end of
suffering goes out to a world in need.
In Buddhism we learn the need for Nirvana: the cessation of
unsatisfactory conditions and their causes.
Silence 07
Silence 08
I hope the images I have created and the music I selected
for this post help to bring some peace and positive recollection to our hearts
and minds.
http://youtu.be/K8-iTakhFrs — The Disintegration Loops III — William Basinski — Video by Bodyheaven
We are of one Source Energy, and one Spirit.
The Silence of Liberation and the Silence Within
The Fun House @ Highwire Gallery: 1991 / Dreaming in Future Tense / a 2011 remix
“Sometimes we turn the pages in the Book of Memories and come to remember the children who dream in future tense”…..
The Highwire Gallery production of The Fun House
workshop began in March 1991 at the Sayre Morris Community Center in West
Philadelphia and concluded with a performance in May. Funded by the PA Council
on the Arts, the goal was to bring together a group of children and introduce
them to the arts. Our focus would be on dance, performance, music and the visual
arts. Another important part of the workshop was for it to be a community
service, which merged different ethnic backgrounds and communities. For the
eleven girls who participated in the workshop, the hope was to inspire personal
challenges and the pursuit of their dreams. Everyone involved, the artists of
Highwire Gallery, the kids, Empress our musical director, Sandra Lynn our choreographer,
and “DADA” (Dancers Against Drug Abuse) met the challenge and worked hard to
make the program a huge success.
How do we encourage our children to dream, a dream that
inspires, enriches and motivates them to reach for the sky, and to touch just one of the millions of snowflakes that
can be found in the realm of possibilities? How do we lead them by the hand,
through the garden of hopes and dreams?
The Kids at Sandy Beach 2011
I think we do it one child at a time, one school at a time, one
project at a time, and as one community. Children love to discover, and be creative.
I strongly believe that the arts will provide them with the tools they will need for exploring their
imagination and giving birth to their dreams.
What do you feel is our children’s greatest need? What resources in our society would you like to see be provided for the well being and growth of our children? Do you believe that the arts, especially at a young age, is a vital tool for encouraging creative thinking and problem solving?
What do you think?
Select the link below for a dream-like journey into a contemporary child’s lullaby.
Winter Poem by Nikki Giovanni
once a snowflake fell
on my brow and i loved
it so much and i kissed
it and it was happy and called its cousins
and brothers and a web
of snow engulfed me then
i reached to love them all
and i squeezed them and they became
a spring rain and i stood perfectly
still and was a flower
— Author and poet Nikki Giovanni
From “The Selected Poems of Nikki Giovanni”
And last but not least in this journey of dreams…a short animation.
Out Tonight 1989 / 2009 remix
Out Tonight / video still / digital collage 2011
Bonus song: The Smiths – There is a light that never goes out
Out Tonight, the video, was first created in 1989 and mixed with the music of The Smiths and the song “There is a Light that Never Goes Out”. The video was originally conceived as a reflection of 80’s New Wave music, the club scene, and chillin out. But I wanted to add something more, and therefore centered its theme on the possible controversy, yet beauty of interracial dating. The texts used in the video, I thought I knew what would make you smile tonight ask the question of devotion, and statements after an arrest under the immorality act reveals the possible (most notably in the past) consequence. I was inspired to produce this video after seeing the play entitled “Statements after an Arrest under the Immorality Act” by South African playwright Athol Fugard. In the play, Fugard examined with a visceral intensity the consequences of interracial love during apartheid in South Africa. I believe that it is extremely important that we reach out and lead by example, demonstrating that love is universal and that we are all of one race i.e. the human race—diverse, complex, and beautiful.
Love has no boundaries.
The video was created using an Amiga 1000 computer with a Digital Creations’ Super Gen video mixer. Way ahead of its time, the Amiga 1000, which was first introduced to the public in 1985, was an extraordinary machine equipped with music, video and graphic cards. The 2009 version of Out Tonight is remixed with music by Nine Inch Nails.
30-Day Song Challenge: Day 05
Day 5 of the 30-Day Song Challenge asks the question what is “a song that reminds you of someone”? Again at the top of this list has to be the band Trespassers William. It is interesting how a song takes us places we sometimes can no longer go. Lie in the Sound is one of those songs. Every aspect of the lyrics and sound is haunting. The quitar solo at the end with its sustaining sonic yearning is like no other. In the end we all have a song or two, that transports us back exhaustingly to a time, place or person.
day 01 – your favorite song – Stars of the Lid’s “Don’t Bother They’re Here”
day 02 – your least favorite song – Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”
day 03 – a song that makes you happy – Ivy’s – Edge of the Ocean
day 04 – a song that makes you sad – Trespassers William – Love You More
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
30-Day Song Challenge: Day 04
Day 4 of the 30-Day Song Challenge asks the question what is “a song that makes you sad”? At the top of this list has to be the Southern California dreampop/shoegaze band Trespassers William and their haunting song of love in sadness entitled “Love You More”. Anna-Lynne Williams’ beautiful angelic voice portrays a depth that stirs the soul. The icy chill of the acoustic and electric guitars and Anna-Lynne’s voice are perfectly matched, and provide the perfect vehicle for sonic bliss of reflection.
day 01 – your favorite song – Stars of the Lid’s “Don’t Bother They’re Here”
day 02 – your least favorite song – Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”
day 03 – a song that makes you happy – Ivy’s – Edge of the Ocean
day 04 – a song that makes you sad –
Into the Timeless Blue Memory
What do we see when we face ourselves
Standing in the
timeless blue memory
What
do we discover?
Childhood Dreams / A Better Tomorrow / The
Memories Behind You…
Magic and Lost
She is only relevant
to a moment
in time…
The past…and
the memories behind you…
thinking back
softly infused…with
the starlight in her eyes….
He is only relevant
to his story
in time…
To the thought of himself
narcissistic and unending
with the memories behind him…
painfully infused…with
the starlight in her eyes….
The journey has its moments, but it is the end that
is the important thing.
This post is dedicated to the men and women who
endure the timeless blue memory found in love.
The Pier and the Flower in Meditation
Above the shifting tides we stand upon the pier
This past week I have been seeing an image in my mind’s eye.
It is a beautiful, contemplative piece by artist and fellow blogger Leslee
Hare. The title of the work is Inner and Outer Tornadoes. I do recommend you
check out her blog and all of her posts. Needless to say, the atmospheric feeling
in the digital filtering of blue layers, along with her prose, were so
inspiring that it led me to this piece….
The Pier and the Flower in Meditation
I wanted to convey something that was similar to Leslee’s
piece. I wanted soft layering and an organic feeling, if not totally atmospheric.
But more importantly I wanted to reflect on the “cleansing” process that she
spoke of in reference to tornadoes. In my work, I see the pier as an opportunity
to step out into the unknown—above the waters of our fears and shifting emotional
tides.
What elemental forces or structural constructs give you
pause? What questions arise, what “pier” do you stand upon in meditation as you
face the reflection of your thoughts and emotions?
Last Night a Dream and a Celebrated Life Deeply Loved.
A dream can be like a blooming rose touching all our senses.
Several nights, in the last two weeks, I have dreamt of loved ones whom have passed on. And still their love remains. My daughter and my mother came to me and shared their life energy and love with me. They brought moments that had been forgotten and weaved them with the essence of my own thoughts, perceptions, and desires. Dreams always seem to be about people, places and life’s moments intertwined. There are waves of reality, sometimes in a surrealistic manner, merging us with the floods of memories, emotions and deep aspirations. We at times never want to wake up, as we reach across the void to touch and hold on just a moment longer.
What does a dream mean to you? How does one interpret those dreams? These are questions that we have, on many occasions, asked ourselves. The American Heritage Dictionary defines a dream as; a series of images, ideas etc., occurring in certain stages of sleep.
There is always a deeply hidden, yet revealing message in a dream. The nature of a dream is its ambiguity. When we sleep with a dream, we see and feel the unknown, and when we wake, there is the longing for connectivity, revelation and a glimpse into the meaning of our lives.
This post is an invitation for you to describe what a dream means to you, or share a dream that has given you a sense of a life celebrated and deeply loved.
In Celebration of a Life Deeply Loved 02
An excited young "Lady" looking forward and enjoying life
In Celebration of a Life Deeply Loved 02
“I’m Free”
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free. I’m following the path God laid out for me. I took His hand when I heard him call. I turned my back and left it all. I could not stay another day, to laugh, to love, to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way. I found that peace at the close of the day. If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss. Ah yes, these things I too will miss. Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow. My life’s been full, I savored much; Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief. Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief. Lift up your heart and share with me. God wanted me now, He set me Free!
In Celebration of a Life Deeply Loved 01
Dionanna Lady McFadden-Smith
In Celebration of a Life Deeply Loved 01
A Rose
A long slender Rose represents my life
The Rose is sensitive, elegant, delicate…
But Vicious
Harsh to the touch
Manipulating…Deceiving
She makes you want to touch but
You may not touch
Sharp thorns protect her
The Rose is peace, love, beauty
Her red petals speak of love,
Passion, deep down feelings
The Rose needs care
Lots of care
Water, water…constantly
Soil…Rich soil nurtures her mind
Makes her beautiful
The ground is her home
Hard, solid, tough
Nature is her world
By
Lady McFadden
February 10th 1992
At the Summit, the Tree of Life Love Art and Faith
The Blue Ridge Mountains at the Summit of Waterrock Knob
At the Summit, the Tree of Life Love Art and Faith
“Just as the sun shines equally on the cedar and the little flower, so the Divine Sun shines equally on everyone, great and small”.
“Love can accomplish all things. Things that are most impossible become easy where love is at work”.
“Faith and hope give way to love; we had found already the One we were seeking”.
Quotations from:
Sermon in a Sentence: A Treasury of Quotations on the Spiritual Life
ST. THERESE OF LISIEUX
Trees have always presented themselves as being unique and mysterious to me. When I began drawing years ago the most interesting structure in a landscape was the tree. There are so many forms in the roots, trunks, and branches that can create beautiful art and design. As an abstract and surrealist artist, trees seemed to embody a great mystery. And for me, sitting under a tree provides a place of rest, visions for creative thought, and spiritual recollection.
Walter W. Smith
Transcending the Ambiguities of the Heart (at sea remix 2011)
Transcending the Ambiguities of the Heart (at sea remix 2011)
Transcending the Ambiguities of the Heart
Prologue from Miles Ahead / Everything But the Girl / From Life and Stolen Innocence by Walter Smith
“Life on the oceans of the world is sustained by the luck of the draw—same as on land. At times it is called, (in recent history) the ‘American Dream’—the need to discover, possess and to be miles ahead. We find ourselves by looking beyond the impending realization, (everything but the girl) —reaching for it with fervent desperation. At other times it’s a sighting too late and the course not taken. Drifting for what seems like the duration of timelessness on the empty sea of lost love. For centuries man has sailed the seven seas and oceans of the world—in search of…”
He paused, smiled and then continued, “A couple of good stories to tell a young seafarer.”
The Spark that Ignites Our Dream of Love Soon Fades Away
A 2011 remix for Life and Stolen Innocence with poem
four point two million sympathy cards hallmark dissipating blue-clear skies to purple gray skies vertical sky-cam a gun in hand aisle four
the sound of a distant airplane voices behind closed doors clear skies, green grass, eternity hand-held sony super 8 interviewing clips from serial mom and fourth of july picnics
christmas morning echoed screams polaroids father knows best sleep in pain, wake to fear, live without love family sitcoms circa: 1960’s
Life in Every Breath
Love and Compassion in the service of others for the post Life in Every Breath
Today I had the Honor of being of service to an individual, who over the years, I have come to love dearly. He has some special needs, and a heart to be filled with love. It is a beautiful thing what we discover in ourselves when we help others. I felt a great sense of well-being–finding its source in the expression of love through active compassion. In Buddhism, we learn that compassion is the wish for all sentient beings to be free from suffering and its causes, and that love is the wish for all sentient beings to have happiness and its causes. Let’s find a way together to build our hearts as one instrument in the service of others.
n e w d i g i t a l s c a p e s 