You Can’t Undo What You have Never Done
How Can I Undo the Things I’ve Never Done….
Sometimes we see ourselves as a reflection of our past,
present and future. The lenses in which we view our lives in all its complexity
are often distorted by the noise of our thoughts and the subsequent choices we’ve
made.
At times I ask myself, how I can undo the things I’ve never
done. Because in my mind, through those very lenses, I will with visceral
uncertainty see things not as they really are.
So in conclusion—living within the sphere of ambiguity—I’ve
come to realize that you have to bring something—something significant to the
table, and if you don’t, you may discover that your invitation and acceptance
speech has been rescinded.
But then that’s life—trying to undo the things, you’ve never
done.
Waking to Nothing Ever Being Perfect
a passing moment
child on a bike
a contemplative thought
fleeing the hopelessness
to the touch it is
like glass strewn urban decay
and dreams
that are shattered by the morning light
waking to nothing
ever being perfect…
Until You, I Didn’t Feel Quite Finished
the days fade into each other
waking
drifting
dreaming
sleeping
and…
until you, I didn’t feel quite finished
the nights fade into each other
thoughtless
senseless
emotionless
passionless
and….
until you, I didn’t feel quite finished
love haunts
love beckons
love promises
love fades
and…
until you, I didn’t feel quite finished…
until now….
How Can I know If You Believe In Me (a short reprise)
on a sea of glass
a reflection of what you believe
is it me
or my imagination
that is dreaming
believing in
the beautiful times gone by
and forgotten moments
now and forever
— for us
How Can I know If You Believe In Me
if there was a moment
in a dream
and you believed in me
does it change everything
now and forever
…. for us
Are You There … Outside My Window
How can I know if I am dreaming, if when I wake I am still asleep….
Post Canvas and Paint 04: Structures, Verse and Abstracts
Sleeping by a distant sunset I touched the forming world.
Walking by a waking night I saw the dreams of things to come.
Standing by the quiet lake I thought of nothing else.
Sitting by my window I heard a purple flower bloom.
The Silence in Consciousness 02: a short reprise
Towards the Within, Consciousness has No Center
“Consciousness is everywhere, without a center. What appears to be a center is only a reflection in the mind”. … Swami Parmanandji Maharaj
Pure Consciousness, like sunlight is everywhere; however,
unlike sunlight it has no center.
As individuals, the I that we come to indentify ourselves
with comes into existence when Consciousness, manifesting itself as the
continuum of space, time and causations, mistakes
itself for its own reflection in the mind, identifies,
believes in, itself with its own reflection and limits itself to its own reflection.
Pure Consciousness has no center, it only just is.
The Silence in Consciousness
Towards the Consciousness within….
“We accept that we are, but we are not ready to accept that we are without anything—without
words, mind or body”. … Swami Parmanandji Maharaj
When attempting to understanding the concept or belief of our existence, we know the states of being awake, dreaming and deep sleep, but we may not be aware that our true Existence is independent of them. This is to say that our concept of existence and our actual Existence are two distinct things. At the base of all three states i.e. awake, dreaming and deep sleep is
the core foundation that alone makes their sense of being “real” possible. That foundation or substratum in which they originate from is Consciousness. At first glance, this may be difficult to understand, but we can transcend the three
states and realize the limited self as pure Consciousness.
Being without (the three states) means nothing but “I” exists. In truth, Consciousness Exist independently but we are not aware.
There is an interesting dichotomy that is at work here—how to understand that the three states are because of Me, but “I” am not because of the three states. At the core of this realization is the knowledge that my own Existence is free and not dependent on anything. The three states, our very existence, are transitory, only Consciousness is permanent.
By the very construct (the power to direct consciousness) in which our life is governed—being awake producing action, going from thought to thought, dreaming, and falling into sleep, we live life—we have the sensation of being “alive”. By this very same construct or shall we say capacity, we can return to pure Consciousness.
“If you remain continuously conscious, after some time the world will disappear and only pure Consciousness will remain”. … Swami Parmanandji Maharaj
What do you think? Do you question the knowledge of your existence (where does it come from), your purpose in life, what lies beyond what you see and feel? Does the awareness of your Consciousness play a role in knowing who you are and how you live your life? Please share.
The Silence of Creativity
Towards the love within….
Where does the impetus for creativity come from? Is it a latent form of suppressed
experiences and / or emotions? When is creativity realized, and how is it manifested into what we call art?
As artists it is hard to imagine a world without art and the forces of creativity that fuel it. It is also at times difficult to understand the sensibilities that emerge from the soul when an idea comes into being i.e. its origin and purpose. Perhaps we can conclude with some ambiguity that creativity is indeed either individualistic, universal, or both—governed by the life one has lived or hope to live.
“The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates”. … Oscar Wilde 1854-1900
“Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge
yourself. If you are unhappy with anything…whatever is bringing you down, get
rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity,
your true self comes out”. … Tina Turner b. 1939
“Imagination is the beginning of creation. You
imagine what you desire you will what you imagine and at last you create what
you will”. … George Bernard Shaw 1856 – 1950
“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep”. … Scott Adams b. 1957
Sometimes I see things around me that are in part a glimpse of reality. The many “realities” that surround my life often become vehicles for abstraction through the creative process. They are like a multitude of intersections—full of possibilities. As artists we must always ask the question is this the direction I want to go? Will this convey the message I desire to express? But in the end we can only trust in the mystery of what is and what it means to create art and call oneself an artist.
The Silence of Creativity and the Creative Journey Within
What are your thoughts? As an artist or writer or master of any creative discipline where do you believe creativity arises from? Please share your ideas and what inspires you to follow your imagination.
As We Live Our Lives Moments In a Day Stand Apart
June 18th 2009, a day that stands apart.
On the Nantahala river in Western North Carolina in celebration of
my 53rd birthday the following day on the 19th of June.
A contemplative day full of energy and colors….
We can never have enough of nature. We must be refreshed by the
sight of inexhaustible vigor, vast and titanic features, the sea-coast with its
wrecks, the wilderness with its living and its decaying trees, the
thunder-cloud, and the rain. …Henry David Thoreau
I love this quote because during our 3 hour trek rafting down the river,
it began to rain hard with severe thunderstorms. What an incredible experience battling the
elements as we faced the challenge of the rapids.
If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of
grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of
nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive. …Eleonora
Duse (1858-1924)
Our thoughts are like the waves of a whitewater river. They rise
and fall relentlessly. Our minds, like the lower depths of the river, become
increasingly more settled as we immerse ourselves in our meditation practice. …Walter W. Smith
In a new day that stands
apart, we remove ourselves from yesterday’s trials (the painful past and
uncertain future) and find insight in the quiet of the present moment. We are in
touch with our bodies—moving the energy through the chakras.
Today, hold the past in your
hands. Hold your two hands out in front of you and allow them to fill
with the past, your past, every moment of it. All that happened and did
not happen, all that was wonderful and all that simply was. Let it all
fill your hands.
And now, as you continue to hold
your past in your hands, turn your inner vision to your heart. See how
your heart is clean and clear, free of any regret or longing. Your heart
is beating in this moment and this moment only. …author unknown
As the details of our lives become memories and the moments of
life stand apart, what brings joy, peace and happiness to you? What are some of
your experiences that you embrace with fondness and love? What are your
thoughts? Please do share a moment or two with us.
The Silence of Liberation
Toward the love within….
It is after 12 a.m. and I have just read a wonderful post by
fellow blogger Elizabeth—the author of the blog Mirth and Motivation on
Wordpress.com. I was so inspired by her thoughts and comments on the recent
tragedies in Norway, China and the death of Amy Winehouse, that I felt compelled
to create a post on her theme i.e. the need for silence, for understanding,
compassion and healing.
I am not going to say much about the events that occurred here
in this post, (the struggles of mankind as a community and we as individuals
speak for themselves) however, I would like to express my feelings, my
compassion, and the love of healing through
silence via my art.
Silence is a powerful tool. When we cultivate our inward
journey through meditation, contemplative thought and positive action, we
harness the energy to change ourselves and the world around us. For me, these
moments tonight of creative insight and sharing, in connection with my art and
the desire to send forth compassionate energy is liberating in of itself. I can feel the hurt that so many in our
communities are experiencing and my desire for their liberation and the end of
suffering goes out to a world in need.
In Buddhism we learn the need for Nirvana: the cessation of
unsatisfactory conditions and their causes.
I hope the images I have created and the music I selected
for this post help to bring some peace and positive recollection to our hearts
and minds.
http://youtu.be/K8-iTakhFrs — The Disintegration Loops III — William Basinski — Video by Bodyheaven
We are of one Source Energy, and one Spirit.
Body Sequence of ‘Go Out and See’ 02 / Caving into the absolute darkness
An unearthed prehistoric stonewall some six feet high, built of rocks of
various sizes, is evidence that the cave was likely inhabited by aboriginal
people. It is unknown when the first settler entered Morril’s Cave, although it
has been written that settlers surely would have encountered the cave by the
beginning of the 1800’s. Nothing is known of the cave until it became the
property of Elias S. Worley. Locally, the cavern is often still referred to as
Worley Cave. A large amount of saltpeter was mined from the cave early in the
Civil War. A mill was operated in the early 1900’s where the stream exits at
the lower entrance of the cave. It was said that the stream’s volume was
“sufficient, even in severest drought, to turn the undershot wheel of a
large mill.”
Our journey begins on a very hot day, where the temperature outside the
cave is in the mid 90’s, however, inside the cave the temperature will stay all
year round at about 57 degrees. One of the first things we discover as we
proceed further into the cave are the beautiful rock formations and the
cloudburst that greets us as the contrasting air molecules meet and merge. There
are moments of intrepidity and excitement as we approach the day’s first big
challenge i.e. the 30 foot crawl between two rock formations. Not everyone was
willing to do it, however I jumped at the opportunity—or should I say crawled.
I love a physical challenge and the cave provided many opportunties. During the
course of our 3.5 hour journey we crawled, tunneled, climbed, waded through
water, descended and ascended nearly 180 feet while hiking 1.5 miles. We also
sat in absolute darkness. Sitting in absolute darkness with only the slight
sound of water drops was fascinating. It was quite the meditative moment. Our guide
informed us, that if you remained in this kind of darkness for 72 hours you
would become completely disoriented. After being in this kind of sensory
deprived environment for such a long time one would soon begin to hallucinate.
However, I must say that if you are a practitioner of meditation this is the
perfect setting for deep contemplation.
It was an enjoyable day for all of us on the tour. And if you are
physically able and daring, I highly recommend you try this. What do you think?
Does this sound like something you would do? Are there other challenges or
activities that you would like to conquer?
Our natural resources can provide the excitement and challenges that can
sustain the mind, body and Spirit. Go Out and See.
Opening Sequence of ‘Go Out and See’ 02 / Caving Into the Absolute Darkness
Morril’s Cave (Worley’s Cave) is a class II natural-scientific state natural area located in Sullivan County Tennessee. It has more than 37,000 feet of mapped passages. Morril’s Cave is commonly called Worley’s Cave locally and is known for its voluminous size with rooms more than 75 feet wide and 250 feet long with high ceilings that often exceed 100 feet. It is known for its beautiful formations within its eight to ten miles of passages. The lower level of the cave contains a perennial creek filled complete with various fish, white crayfish, and salamanders.
Earth and River Adventures located in Boone, North Carolina provided us with an excellent guide named Andy. Here he is at the beginning of our journey giving instructions on safety and caving etiquette.
A moment of contemplation for me, as our group of six participants prepare for the journey into absolute darkness.
Up next in the following post the trek begins….
Art for Summer Vacations
Art for Summer Vacations
It is that time of the year when we vacation or if we have
the opportunity we “Get Out and See”. Summer
is here, and the temperature is rising. We search for that place to cool our
days and excite our senses. If we are lucky we travel to far off places and
discover ourselves anew while basking in the view of a beautiful sunrise or
sunset. We spend our afternoons lazily browsing small vintage shops, historical
sites, museums, gardens of beauty and restaurants of epicurean delights. I have
not travelled much abroad, but I am grateful to have visited both The
Netherlands and France during my 1990 group art exhibition in Deventer Holland.
These locales are wonderful places indeed, and I will never forget the
hospitality and kindness that I received throughout my journey. It is the
people that make a journey abroad so special.
Here in the states, I often carve out a weekend adventure
here or there. I enjoy outdoor activities that test my physical being, and challenge
my sense of adventure. I also like to seek out places that provide emotional
recovery through meditative contemplation and recollection. This is vital for restoration.
I feel a great vacation should always provide moments of excitement and serenity….
What do you think? Where are some of your favorite places to
vacation? What do you seek out most when planning a vacation? Is it to find
adventure or is it to just relax? Do you prefer travels abroad or weekends
close to home? Please share your thoughts.
The art work that I have included in this post, are expressions
of the theme I call “Art for Summer Vacations”. The first piece “Vacation / a
journey without moving” is a collage of photographs I took as I travelled to the
city of Amsterdam, the town of Deventer (both in The Netherlands), the shores
of Cape Cod and Nantucket, and the mountains of North Carolina. The second
image entitled “Summer and its Warm Embrace” is a journey through mountains,
lakes and trails in NC, SC and TN during
personal hikes and an artist residency provided by the South Carolina State
Parks.
A Day Like No Other to Find New Memories
My first visit to Charleston was in 2005 during my two-person
exhibit at the North Charleston City Gallery. It was my first time visiting the
city, and my first major exhibit in the state of South Carolina. The previous
year I had been awarded a week long artist residency at Barnwell State Park via
the South Carolina State Parks’ Artists Fellowship Program. This series created in the year
2010 is a reflection of the timeless and imaginary moments, found in the beauty of
morning, afternoon, and evening. As in my
previous posts, I am attempting to examine the relationship we have with memory
and place. I loved my visit to Charleston. I found it to be a beautiful, warm city
with great food, ambience and culture.
A beautiful day in a new place is always an exciting moment of
exploration and renewal, and of recollection in an artist’s mind. Here as the
bright sun of the afternoon beckoned, there were shops, galleries, music halls, and
restaurants to meander lazily through. The South I found, can joyously bring out the
leisurely feeling in one’s step. But the highlight of
Charleston is the bay. Most of the area is filled with historic monuments. The
bay is expansive and walking next to the waves crashing on the sea wall was
exhilarating. It can be a beautiful afternoon of discovery indeed.
As the afternoon turned to dusk, evening slowly approached. And in
that serene backdrop of the setting sun, there were floating memories of
friends, family and beautiful times gone by. The memories moved through the
color of evening and I found the night full of waking dreams.
Then and now I trust in the mystery of the day.
Where are the places that you visited for the first time
that has left lasting memories? What do you love about exploring new places? Do
you associate certain moments in your life, or loved ones with those places? If
so, please do share.
Into the Timeless Blue Memory
Standing in the
timeless blue memory
What
do we discover?
Childhood Dreams / A Better Tomorrow / The
Memories Behind You…
Magic and Lost
She is only relevant
to a moment
in time…
The past…and
the memories behind you…
thinking back
softly infused…with
the starlight in her eyes….
He is only relevant
to his story
in time…
To the thought of himself
narcissistic and unending
with the memories behind him…
painfully infused…with
the starlight in her eyes….
The journey has its moments, but it is the end that
is the important thing.
This post is dedicated to the men and women who
endure the timeless blue memory found in love.
The Pier and the Flower in Meditation
This past week I have been seeing an image in my mind’s eye.
It is a beautiful, contemplative piece by artist and fellow blogger Leslee
Hare. The title of the work is Inner and Outer Tornadoes. I do recommend you
check out her blog and all of her posts. Needless to say, the atmospheric feeling
in the digital filtering of blue layers, along with her prose, were so
inspiring that it led me to this piece….
The Pier and the Flower in Meditation
I wanted to convey something that was similar to Leslee’s
piece. I wanted soft layering and an organic feeling, if not totally atmospheric.
But more importantly I wanted to reflect on the “cleansing” process that she
spoke of in reference to tornadoes. In my work, I see the pier as an opportunity
to step out into the unknown—above the waters of our fears and shifting emotional
tides.
What elemental forces or structural constructs give you
pause? What questions arise, what “pier” do you stand upon in meditation as you
face the reflection of your thoughts and emotions?
The Conscious Light that Illuminates the Darkness of the Mind
Waking up early during the summer of 2009, there was a
pervading need to see the sunrise. It was still dark, as the consciousness in
waking slowly came into being. In anticipation of a beautiful moment in time, I
found myself rushing to meet the light. Standing upon the pier, I witnessed the
beginning of a new day.
The mind has an opportunity to wake to a new consciousness
as well. Every day the mind finds itself surrounded in thinking and perpetual
thought. As I stood on the edge of the pier, watching the darkness fade away, I
was reminded of the beauty that is the Light that takes away all darkness. In
that moment, my mind felt the Light of Awareness as it responded to the ever
approaching rays of sunshine.
I stood quietly in a meditative state.
Ever increasing awareness is obtained as the illumination in
the power of light over shadows the darkness of the mind.
Do you find moments in nature that like a sunrise brings a
greater sense of awareness? Does it provide a greater feeling of peace with
oneself and of knowing who you really are? Many of the great gurus of our time
have taught how important it is to find the path to greater self awareness and
knowing….
“Through the mind and intellect, consciousness is divided
into I and other. I am on one side, and
the world is on the other. Light is on this side and the other side is dark”.
The Direct Experience of Truth
From the Discourses of Swami Parmanandji Maharaj



































































