words and art by w a l t e r w s m i t h

An Entire Life And I May Not Know Myself

Sometimes the next chapter is the same as the one before and the one before that….

land ferry sky and water

Leaving behind the shore of dreams, I often wake to a life lost at sea….

A life misunderstood.

I sometimes wonder if I really know myself at all. I try to grasp, as I look back across the sea, the meaning of what has gone before. What remains on the distant shore…

The beauty of my indecisiveness. The machinations of my decisions.

Haunt me.

Like the fear of being stranded on land as my dreams sail away. There they go I say. Another day and it all remains the same…

Not unlike the fleeing faces in the clouds above or the uneasy sinking in the waves below….

22 responses

  1. Walter what a beautiful title..it carries so much
    a beautiful poetry I think we all go through it sometimes

    March 20, 2012 at 8:14 am

  2. such is a human life

    March 20, 2012 at 6:17 pm

  3. I have this feeling often. beautiful prose.

    March 21, 2012 at 12:02 am

    • Thank you Sheila. I wanted to express this shared emotion.

      March 21, 2012 at 12:08 am

  4. That was a beautiful way to express an unsettling feeling. I’ve felt that way so many times in the past and I’ve been feeling it again for a long time. It was interesting how you likened it to chapters that don’t change. That’s how it feels for me, too.

    March 21, 2012 at 6:12 am

    • Thanks for the reflection on the piece. I am glad that it resonated with you. Yes it does touch on an emotional ambiguity that we all share.

      March 22, 2012 at 1:20 am

  5. Like the fear of being stranded on land as my dreams sail away….oh yes…i know that feeling….so well…and so well penned…

    March 21, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    • Thank you Claudia. A lot of emotional, and visual thought went into trying to convey a very elusive feeling we are share.

      March 21, 2012 at 11:58 pm

  6. As I learn to let go of trying to understand, I seem to be happier…simply accepting that people, myself included, might be far too complex to understand or know. For me, there seems to be a lovely freedom in letting go like that.

    March 21, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    • Your words ring so true. My studies in Buddhism has helped me to understand the value of letting go, living in the present moment and not having attachments. That said, I often find that examining the many complexities we all share in this life, as an artist, only increases my awareness. Perhaps a contradiction. What do you think?

      March 21, 2012 at 11:31 pm

      • I try to understand a few of my own reactions as they happen, or after the reaction has cooled….but I’m trying sooo hard learn to be more careful when trying to understand others… to just accept that other people are extraordinarily complex with far too many factors for me to understand…. I’m also learning that my own thinking is often quite limited and a bit skewed, so, at times, to not really believe what I think. But yes, the complexities are shared, and I admire your commitment to explore them.

        March 31, 2012 at 5:11 pm

  7. Reblogged this on Conceptual Art.

    March 22, 2012 at 9:09 pm

  8. Ina

    This is very good! And I love the picture 🙂

    March 24, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    • Thank you Ina. I think out of the three images in this series, this one is my favorite. It is atmospheric and light. You can feel the distant journey both underneath and above as you slowly move across the sea.

      March 25, 2012 at 12:50 am

  9. Reblogged this on n e w d i g i t a l s c a p e s and commented:

    I was browsing some of my older posts and came across this one. I have been remixing this image and other ships at sea. The prose expresses my ambiguity.

    December 20, 2013 at 8:45 pm

  10. Beautiful image and words. I too feel this way at times. Somehow, reading the prose gave me comfort.

    December 20, 2013 at 10:16 pm

    • Thanks Marie. I hope you are doing well. And have a beautiful and spirited holiday. 🙂

      December 20, 2013 at 11:15 pm

      • I also wish you a happy holiday, Walter. :).

        December 21, 2013 at 1:33 am

  11. The ferry looks so lovely and serene. So nice to see it framed like that – no other river traffic around it, just its own magnificence.

    December 21, 2013 at 10:19 pm

    • Thanks Denise. The photo was taken in New Orleans. On the Mississippi River. What a magnificent river. It was a beautiful moment in time. Here in the digital piece, I again take a moment of beauty that stands still and inject a sense of ambiguity: A searching for internal things lost at sea.

      December 23, 2013 at 2:11 am

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